My Four Favorite 'F' Words

Lately, I have been challenged as I read some of my favorite blogs by how easily and freely people seem to share such deep and personal issues. I have always been an extremely private person with people that I do not know well and the thought of opening up that way, especially online, is quite terrifying. Yet I am constantly enthralled by their posts and find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in various struggles, let downs, disappointments, failures or questions. I started my blog with no idea of what I was doing and I am slowly learning. While the goal of Life's Little Clevers and Unexpected Endeavors has been to share my business process, ideas, recipes, DIYs, and life adventures I do believe it is time to add a new element. As with everything baby steps are the way to start and balance is always the goal.
Looking back on my posts, something is missing. I believe it is my heart and a bit of realness. Everything is shiny and polished as of course I get to choose what I share and what I do not. I do have a very happy, organized, OCD, and clean life, do not get me wrong, but somethings there are crazy messes all over my house just outside of the camera lens, and sometimes I set goals that I want to share but am scared of failure so I do not. There are journeys that I dare not share because if they do not pan-out then people would know I started something that did not workout....GASP! ;) What am I trying to say?...I just want to be more real, share the good, the bad, and the ugly all with a cherry on top...just because that is my style!
This all came to a head with this image that I saw when I entered my room to get ready for my run today. I snapped the photo and thought I should share what it meant to me...

The four most important things in life to me are my FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS, and FITNESS!

I have not shared much about my faith on my blog because I do not like when I feel people are pushy about it so I have just left it out. However, it is something that I value deeply and is a part of everything that I do. With a busy schedule I have not had time to do as many Bible studies I would like and so being on vacation I picked up a book I heard about called A Beautiful Offering, on Casey Wiegand's blog. I am only a few chapters in but I am already enjoying the author's point of view and the meaning she volunteers. I will let you know what I think at the end!
My family and friends are the best, there is no explanation necessary! I love you all dearly, and my time away from New York has made me realize how much the east has become my home and how much I miss you all, even after a week!
Fitness is a constant balancing act for me: always has been, always will be. I am an "all-or-nothing" personality in every aspect of life and health and fitness is no exception. Ergo, throughout high school and college I worked out excessively and it became an unhealthy addiction. I saw the warning signs and decided that a healthy life was more important to me than being an unhealthy ideal of skinny and so I walked away from it all....running, weights, dance, hiking, soccer, training, etc. Once you travel down that road it has a lifelong game of being fit and active, while taking care of your body and being healthy.
After so much time away from intense exercise I have decided it is time to set boundaries but get back into shape. A few months ago I told Devin that I wanted to start running again. I started doing Pilate's about two years ago and totally love it, but I was not in the cardio vascular shape that I want to be in. The first day I decided to run three miles, a mere warm up in my previous running days, but a worthy goal in my huffing/puffing state. A half mile into it I was white-knuckling the sides of the treadmill and had intercostal retractions to rival any of my respiratory babies at work on a bad night!!! Discouraged I headed home and decided that I was no longer a runner.
My mindset has been to train and then blog about the marathon I am finally able to run. Blogging only after the fact to show the end result but none of the pain and struggle of the process. However, in a pursuit to be more real about my journey I thought I would share that I have finally given in and decided to do a little 5K while in Seattle. I am running every-other-day and slowly I have been able to add distance (and the ability to breath) to my runs! I am so scared I will end up not doing it and then look like a failure for everyone to see! I will post periodically on my progress and pursuits and hopefully can encourage others to take bite-sized goals too! My lovely work ladies...I am so excited to do the Diva Run with you next spring, thanks for your inspiration!
Whew I do not do this personal stuff very well, hopefully it will be easier!!! Thank you for reading!